


A Steamy Time With Green Shadow

by Glide_Glaze



Category: Plants vs Zombies
Genre: Decit, Drama, F/M, Fear, Improv, Sexual Tension, Sweat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glide_Glaze/pseuds/Glide_Glaze
Summary: Rather than come to meet the plant heroes, the Gardener finds himself invited by Green Shadow herself to enjoy some personal time together to "bond". The situation quickly escalates until things get nice and hot...
Relationships: Green Shadow/Gardener Tony, plant/human
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	A Steamy Time With Green Shadow

"Fuck....fuck, I'm almost there..."

After all the help he's given her and her friend Solar Flare, the lovely (and occasionally busty) Green Shadow gave the Gardener a very personal invite to her humble abode. One visit only to show her "appreciation" for all his help keeping the two of them....healthy. Still, that was no excuse to be late as the Gardener checked his watch again, finally reaching her front door. Looking himself over, he found he looked perfectly presentable, and rang the doorbell. As if she's been waiting this whole time, it's only a few seconds before a certain apron-wearing peashooter answered the door. Of course, Green Shadow couldn't be the peashooting, crime-fighting hero all the time, so her costume has clearly since been put away as she resumed her secret identity; a simple girl named Penelopea. Even without the mask and such, she still looked awfully adorable. Clearing his throat, the Gardener spoke up.

"Well Penelopea, I made it....despite your directions."

She smiled, glad that he went with SF's advice to not blow her cover.

'Ah Gardener Tony, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!'

"Yeah..."

Her house was quite pretty and spacious. It even stretched to two floors! As she led him to the dining room, he saw just how well she had planned this time out. She had even left out a small bucket of ice for the wine he brought her. How nice. Placing it in to chill, he took a seat at the table as Green Shadow stepped into her kitchen to check on the food. The last thing you want in your oven is a pillar of smoke pouring out of it. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. Penelopea gasped loudly before opening it up to the sight of her roast just as it began to catch fire.

'Oh ye gods! My roast is ruined!'

She didn't plan for this! This was a disaster! Glancing into her fridge, she saw that she has no other roasts in stock. It's not like she had time to cook another anyways. Pacing around the kitchen, she glanced out towards the window, towards the local Zomburger.

'But what if....I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking...? Ho Ho Ho Ho.....delightfully devilish, Penelopea!'

Removing her apron, she opened the window up and prepared to go outside. However, just before she could leave, a sound made her plant blood chill. The Gardener stepped right into the kitchen on her!

"Ah-"

Seeing her halfway out the window, he squints. He had hoped for a normal day, but of course that was never going to happen. Penelopea with her crazy explanations....the gardener is gonna need his medications. When he hears Penelopea's lame exaggerations there'll be trouble in town tonight.

"PENELOPEA!"

'Gardener! I was just.....stretching my leaves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?'

However, he wasn't going to be distracted quite that easily.

"Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Penelopea?"

She had forgotten to even turn it off. She hasn't even put out the roast. Thinking fast, she replied.

'Uh- oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm! Steamed clams!'

She gave a smile only peashooters could give which seemed to do the job, as he stared a little longer before heading back to the dining room. As suspicious as it was, he didn't want to press the issue. After all, she could be truthful.

'Whew...'

With that out of the way, she zipped out the window and ran across the street. Several minutes later, she comes back into the dining room, holding a large tray of hamburgers on a bed of fries, placing it down on the table.

'Gardener, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!'

His memory isn't going bad is it? He could have sworn he heard otherwise.

"I thought we were having steamed clams."

'D'oh no! I said steamed HAMS. That's what I call hamburgers.'

"You call hamburgers steamed hams?"

'Yes! It's a regional dialect!'

"Uh-huh. Uh, what region?"

'Uh, upstate Cactus Canyon.'

"Really. Well, I'm from Neighborville and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'. "

'Oh, not in Neighborville. No, it's a Suburbia expression.'

"I see."

And so he just shrugged off the name game and went to eat, taking a bite of her steamed hams. However, after only a single bite, he couldn't help but notice a similarity, pulling the meal apart.

"You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Zomburger."

Penelopea ignored the need to shudder and laughed it off.

'Oh no! Patented Penelopea burgers. Old family recipe!'

"......for steamed hams."

'Yes!'

He glances down at the grill marks on the meat, leaning forward and presenting them.

"Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled."

The little plant sat in place, looking from the burger to the Gardener, stuttering and wiping her mouth, feeling a bit of sweat on her head.

'Ye- You know, the- .....one thing I should-'

"......."

'.....Excuse me for one second.'

"Of course."

The peashooter hopped out of her chair and scuttled into the kitchen as he continued to eat, returning only a few seconds later, yawning loudly with quite the noticeable orange light behind her from inside the room.

'Well, that was wonderful! A good time was had by all. I'm pooped!'

She was right. It's been such a long time already. Removing his napkin and checking his watch, he started to get up, glancing behind her.

"Yes I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!"

As he pointed to the now hidden, fiery blaze in the kitchen, Penelopea simple blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

'Teleported Ra Zombie.'

Is she serious? He's had enough.

"Uh- Teleported Ra Zombie at this point in the game at this trick phase in this state of the meta localized entirely within your kitchen?"

'Yes!'

Woah. Her answer had such a note of confidence in it. Not even a shiver came from the little gal. Maybe she's actually telling the truth...

".....May I see it?"

She considers for but a moment. 

'....No.'

Soon enough, they're both stepping out to her front doorstep, where from upstairs, he could distinctly hear Solar Flare's voice.

"'Penelopea! The house is on fire!"'

She's quick to respond.

'No, Flare. It's just Ra Zombie.'

He may as well end the visit on a good note, after all she's done.

"Well Penelopea, you are an odd hero but I must say....you steam a good ham."

And so he was off, stepping down the walkway and making towards home.

"'HEEEELP! HEEEEEELP!"'

He swiftly turned around, only to see Penelopea waving him on, still with a happy look on her face. She obviously knew what she was doing, so he continued on his way.

[Brief Fire Truck Siren]

**Author's Note:**

> April Fools.


End file.
